A detox is that thing you do when you want to get something out of your system. Getting rid of the dirt is the only (or trendy) way to feel better. So we all tried to detox our body with some kind of disgusting potion you drink for 3 days; by now we’ve all heard of the digital detox thing but never did it because of the addiction denial. Unfounded fact, sorry. Apparently, some of you did successfully undergo a self-imposed 12 HOURS without smartphone, social media or Google; I am sure it must have been hard. BRAVO! I noted some got into the closet detox but don’t feel like this one would benefit me as I have close to no clothes and never have anything to wear (like a lot of 28 yo women with a credit card). Still, I needed something to get in on this cleansing frenzy, at least so I could add the word detox to my small talk vocabulary.
Still, I needed something to get in on this cleansing frenzy, at least so I could add the word detox to my small talk vocabulary. It is, while seated on a bus feeling very uncomfortable trying to discreetly slip my hand into my slim jean to stop this very tiny thong from sawing my buttcrack in half that I wondered why I was still owning this thing. I know it surely has happened to you too (maybe not and I definitely am the weird one) so it’s time to detox your underwear drawer.
Let’s toss all of these G-String that looks like that bastard mentioned up there. Two synthetic strings attached to a teeny leopard printed loincloth. They are uncomfortable as hell and unflattering if you are no Victoria’s Secret model. #HelloFatPad.
I remember now how leopard print got into my underwear drawer: it was a gift from an ex-boyfriend! At some point in the relationship, men feel like it is part of their duty as official lover to gift us with lingerie (these parts are his now). I do not know who this benefits the most given that most of the time it will be impossible to put on, fetishist not made for our morphology and impractical but makes him feel like a stud. We all have these pieces that will come in handy the day we’ll be forced to take up pole-dancing (the day you will get broke because you gave in too much to that neverending « nothing to wear » problem). Still, there is no need to keep the kinky mementos from past lovers let’s only keep the savage lingerie bought by the man currently sharing our bed.
Let’s face it, I must own at least 20 bras but always wearing the same four with the exception of date night where I make an effort and wear matching bra and knickers. Can’t we just toss all of those that haven’t been worn once in the last 10 months? No one needs 15 « just in case »! Besides there is a reason why they never see the light, they probably don’t fit you anymore, have broken straps or are bright pink and you are just not that woman anymore.
How great are those new lingerie collection? Soft bras without underwire for support and no padding anyone? Light, lacy and comfy! Every woman need these so cleanse that drawer and make room for new things.
Another great, fantastic and exciting reason to detox your lingerie is that it makes room for new pieces!!! SHOPPING TIME! Intimissimi is my go-to and Etam of course. Aubade is top-notch with great fabrics and details but a bit more expensive so this is where I am sending Bae whenever he feels like bestow lingerie upon me or Victoria’s Secret whenever is on a business trip in the US.
That panty you bought in 2010 when you were a summer exchange student in London is just too old. These are actually the first ones that should go: oldies, ripped, discolored… They are there somewhere so this season DETOX YOUR UNDERWEAR DRAWER!